Finally am back with blogging and I'm thinking of making this blog "alive" again haha
It's been a few months since I even last logged in to this gmail account since I have 2, and this is mainly just for my blog.
Glad to be back :-)
Exams are finally over and tbh, I have mixed feelings. Part of me is looking forward to celebrating and relaxing for the next 7 weeks but on the other hand, exams left me with regrets. And i guess, this happens to almost everyone (?), thinking that we've not studied enough and we're not gonna do well and such.
People kept asking me, " How were your exams! "
My reply would be " Uh.... not bad but I screwed up my last paper"
And yes I did.
I'm not saying it because I think "oh im just gonna get a pass " or " oh i lost careless marks "
but I really did screw it up, there's probably less than a 50% chance that I would even pass haha
And yes, I cried after my paper.
I cried because I don't want to retake this module and have my semesters pushed back by 1 more sem,
when people are graduating imma be like " oh congrats i have to stay for one more sem "
This feeling sucks and I know this feeling won't go away.
But then, I was reminded the prayer that I made before every single paper.
"God, I pray that be it good or bad, I will still want to praise Your name. Be it good or bad, I still want to give thanks to you. "
Be it good or bad.
Should I be all sad and blame God for not seeing me through the paper, for not blessing me with answers during the paper? No. Irregardless of circumstances, God is still constant.
Yes, as disappointed as I may be, I will want to praise, I still want to sing of His promises.
So what if at the end of the day I really do have to retake the module? God will see me through. God will guide me through.
Results doesn't determine who you are in God's eyes. God doesn't favor people just because you're smart, just because you're wealthy, etc. God loves each and every one of us, just as we are.
Sure, I am praying also that God will make a miracle, that I'll be able to pass the module, but even if I don't, I still want to thank Him.
We all need to take a step back at times, instead of focusing on what you want to achieve, look at the bigger picture.
This holidays, I want to spend them wisely. Days when I have nothing on, I want to relax in God's presence, days when I have programs and practices to attend, I want to attend in God's presence. Even till the day when results are out, I want to be covered and comforted in God's presence.
Thank you Jesus, though we may fail, You never will.
"You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You
And I wait on You
I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all"
