prayers.

A sudden thought of typing down my prayers here struck me so here I am.

Lots of things happened in this past 1 year, many good things, but many bad things as well. moments of joy, moments of hurt, so many moments that I wish i can type them down but LOL it's tooo long. 

I'm afraid I'll get lazy just before 2013 ends so I'm just going to post this now hahahaha

And yeah even as im typing this, things had just happened but ugh gonna put that aside. 

I didn't give it too much of a thought, but I came up with 3 main prayers that I would like to pray and type it here. 

Note: reason why I wanna type it here is because I want to keep myself accountable and I want to always constantly remind myself that I've made this 3 prayers (apart from telling my shepherd).

So... here it goes. 

1. Myself

As many of you know, Im actually quite a cheerful and happy person. But i can be really hot-headed and stubborn at times. I don't usually get angry when I'm out(excluding the times when I'm hungry haha), but I tend to lose my temper when I'm at home. God has blessed me with countless blessings in my life and I'm so so grateful but I don't want to let my behavior and emotions disappoint God. 

Dear God, I just want to pray that in this coming new year, or even starting from now, grow me and change me into the kind of person I was created to be. I want to be more of You and less of myself. When I'm feeling angry and about to lose my temper, God remind me of Your love and that we should love Your people as ourselves. God help me and guide me to where You want to lead me. Be it in the highs or in the lows, remind me that You'll always be there and that I'll always fix my eyes on You. God, this is not going to be easy, but I want to do it. I want to overcome all these and walk my journey faithfully with you. Thank you for now and for the things that You're going to be doing in my life. Amen.

2. Family

As mentioned in my previous posts, or some of you may have also read my wordpress (tsherploxy.wordpress.com) you should know that I have quite a severe family problem and my parents' relationship are not good... AT ALL. And most of the arguments and quarrels that I would have are normally when I'm home (as mentioned ^ too). Recently, I've been exhausted and I'm starting to give up hope on having God change and mend my broken family. It's not that I doubt the power of prayer or God, i know God is good and powerful, and he has even blessed my family by bringing them to Him, but sometimes i wonder... 

When is the change going to come? When is he going to mend my broken family? When will I be able to proudly share my testimony for God's glory? When will be the day that we can take a family photo with everyone having the widest smile on their face? When will be the day.. that we can say that we love each other as a family? And of course, when will be the day when we can all serve the Lord as a household together? (Joshua 24:15) : "But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Dear God, I commit my family into Your hands. I may not understand why all these situations are happening in my family right now, and at times, I admit that I lose my temper and start to wonder why all these are happening, but God, I pray for assurance in not just my heart, but in each of  my family members' hearts that God, You will make a way. The day that we'll proudly give glory and boast in Your name is going to come. All the debts, all the brokeness, God, You will make a way. You're greater, You're stronger than all these problems that we are facing. I pray for the understand of everyone in my family too that we may have different opinions and views on things, but we are as One in Christ. I pray that before they/I speak and spark fire, God You'll first extinguish the fire in our hearts first. I believe for better things to come in my family, and I'm truly truly looking forward to that day. Thank You God for all that is happening, because through suffering, we'll learn. Everything happens for a reason. Thank you God, Amen.

3. School/Ministry

Christmas event has just gone by. 8 months of Poly life has just gone by. In this 8 months, so many things has happened. I've moved on from Youth to Polydins and I'm so glad that God brought me to where I am today. Serving in areas that I've never thought I would serve in, achievements that I never thought I would get. omg, God is just so good. Who am I that I should deserve all this? I'm just an unworthy sinner, but God, in You, I'm made whole. Truth to be told, there hasn't been much harvest in this 8 months, but there has been a great harvest in each of our hearts. I believe that as we continue to sow seeds, to people ALL AROUND us, the day of the harvest will come. If we don't sow, we can't expect harvest. So, why not? Ministry aside, I would also like to take time to thank God for my classmates and friends in poly, they are the ones that make me look forward to school and always bringing a smile to my face. sounds pretty cheesy but hey I'm serious ok. Though even till now, we might not still be SUPER close to each other, but I'm still thankful for this friendship that I've found :') 

Dear God, the end of year 1 is coming, 8 months has just gone by like that, and God, I don't want to waste the rest of the months away. God, I pray that we'll first open up our hearts to You for You to use each and every one of us. If we're not willing, You can't work through us. But as long as we're willing and doing it for Your glory, God i know that Your spirit will flood our hearts and lives and God each and every one of us, be it strong or weak, smart or not so smart, You can use each and every one of us. (1 Corinthians 1:27) : "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong" I am looking forward to the harvest that is yet to come. As we serve, God, expand our hearts as well as we let Your love overflow to the people around. Truly excited to what You're going to do. Thank You God, Amen. 

I need Your strength

God supplies and provides the things that we NEED not the things that we WANT. 

Hello everybody it's me again. After procrastinating for about a few years, days, weeks, i've decided to blog again haaha and i hope I dont just save this as a draft because previously I've saved a number of posts as drafts and never got to post it LOL

I have so so many things to tell you all but I dont even know where to start with. Hmmm lemme organize my thoughts. -organizing in process plz do not disturb- 

OK DONE

Lemme first tell you all about how tiring my week has been even though it's only been like 3/4 days into the week. This week, I have 2 projects, 1 test, 2 tutorials, 1 assignment waiting for me to complete. I have already completed 1 test and 1 of the projects and am currently doing my assignment now, but i still have alot of things yet to do :(

For my project, which is to be completed and presented this friday, HAS TO BE A 30 MINS LONG PRESENTATION. that's crazy man i can barely even present for 5 mins and now it's 30 mins?! wow and my group hasn't even finished doing it yet (we just started doing ystd) oh my gosh. Really praying for extra dosage of wisdom and strength to complete this, wanna give in my best. Regardless of the results, i want to be able to give thanks to You and know that I've already done my best even if it's too late now. 

Yup pls allow me to sidetrack for a lil bit while i talk about my ambition/dream/aim. 

Many people have told me that im crazy when i tell them that i wanna be a police(obviously not like what you see above, i just didnt want to post some authority copyrighted picture in case i get sued for using it HAHAHAHA)/go to army next time after I graduate from poly. But im kinda serious when i say those things. Beyond the nice uniform that they have, i really admire those that are able to make it to join the police forces and those who are in combat training in the army (like woah, i really want to become one of them). After sending my brother off to army last wednesday, i wanted to join army too because it's just too cool and i dont know what's wrong with me but passion and determination of wanting to join just overwhelmed me. I may not be sure if I will really be determined when the time comes(when i graduate), but for now im really kinda serious that i want to make it come true next time. hahaha God show me your will and your way. is it your calling for me to go be a police/join the army? HAHAHA we'll see about that in 2 to 3 years time. and not to mention, recently, movies that i've been watching are all about police and fighting kind of genres and ohmygosh im even more motivated for it now hahahah 

The words may seem familiar to some of you, but if it's not dont worry.

Lemme talk about Praise and Worship service last week. (why do i sound like im giving a lecture or presentation now lol) 

Honestly, the words above spoken by the P&W Leader really struck me hard that I couldn't help but say "Im sorry God, Im sorry for not coming as I am to worship you and to praise you"

For some of us, I think that P&W has become a habit and routine kind of thing, that everytime we go for service, we expect the same old "programmes" to be repeated again and again. Instead of coming to God with a true and sincere heart to worship, sometimes, we take it for granted and we just worship because we are told to do so and everyone else is doing it, so why not? 

God doesn't want us to go to Him with a strong front, with an act that we are actually worshiping, but God wants us to go to Him just as we are, just as who we really really are. 

We worship not because we have problems and we desperately want God to solve our problems, but we worship because we want to put aside our problems and to focus and put God in the center of it. Dont let your problems hinder you from worship. Because at the end of the day, God is still bigger than everything else. God is still victorious even in our darkest of times. God is still faithful even when we feel that the whole world has turned against us.

I think it's amazing how we as sinners, are so unworthy to reconcile with God and yet, God still never stop loving us. So faithful, so constant.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

And it's all about you

It's all about you, Jesus

I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it

When it's all about you

It's all about you, Jesus

~ Hillsong United - Heart of worship